There are a number of guides for “new parents” – parents of children diagnosed with developmental disabilities. They inspired me to share a few thoughts to those who may be newly indoctrinated into this redefined sibling role.
“Grief stricken. Depressed. Overwhelmed. Add in all the stages of grief, too!”
Even though my parents and I had many talks about what would happen after… meaning after one, and finally both, of them died… I was still unprepared for what was to come next. The responsibility of another person. The oversight of a support services. The comparison of myself to my mother. The guilt for falling short. The fear that my lack of knowledge, time, insight, would result in serious impact to someone I love. The fear of failure. Uugh. The depression I felt at the lost of my parents (my father having died just 2 years before) deepened with the feeling of being overwhelmed with this new responsibility. As the “chosen one” I felt very alone in this obligation and I was not mature enough to know how to manage it with my siblings. Further, as my parents had done, I felt that this was my responsibility alone and that part of my assigned job was keeping the “responsibility” of it from overflowing to my siblings.