by Liz Weintraub, Sibling Leadership Network member
I have 3 sisters and I am the youngest and I am the only person with a disability. Mom and dad taught us how to be very close. They never wanted us to fight. Sometimes we squabble, like most sisters do, but never on things that are very important. Each of us call each other to just say “Hi” on a regular basis. Before mom died, I would talk or see them at least once a month. When mom died I knew that my sisters were there, but I also had Dad- so I never was very concerned that I would have to depend on my sisters. I always respected that they had their own lives and their own kids to care for.
However 2 months ago dad died, and I felt like my whole world was changing. My sisters still have their own kids to take care of and worry about. My parents once told me, “Your sisters have their own lives, so they can’t always be there for you.” So now that my parents are gone, it’s scary. Who would be there for my husband and me?
When dad died, my sisters were there for me. They all told me together that dad died. That’s how it should be. From the moment they told me that they would help me with things, the question in my mind was how much is too much or when will I interfere with their own family life? Now I talk to my sisters at least once a week. However will that change as time goes by?
I know that my sisters are amazing people and will always be there for me with the “big things”, but what if a big thing happens when one of my nieces or nephews need their mom? I know that my nieces and nephews should come first.
Everything is so new, right now we are just trying to figure it out. We have already been talking about have a special time for us. Every family is different, you can’t compare one family to another—do what feels right or what’s the best for your family.